


Blue

by Charlotte_Lancer



Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Coming Out, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Hair Dyeing, Hair Kink, Hand Jobs, Humor, M/M, Not Beta Read, This story has become far more serious than it was meant to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-09-27 13:41:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20408671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlotte_Lancer/pseuds/Charlotte_Lancer
Summary: After a mishap with some hair dye, James finds himself strangely attracted to Richard's new look.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The idea from this story came from last night's attempt to dye my own hair. Yep, you really can turn your hair blue with black dye if you're not careful. Fortunately for me, I don't have to appear on national television for my job.

The first thing James noticed as he let himself into Richard’s house was that Richard was wearing a hat.

James wasn’t sure why anyone would be wearing a hat that day, since it was sunny out, and a bit hot for once, but sure enough Richard had on a wool hat, with flaps pulled down to cover his ears.

“Are you sick?” Richard didn’t look unwell, but James was concerned nonetheless.

“No, why- oh! The hat- no, erm, I, well…” Richard fidgeted with his hands as he spoke, “um, bad hair day?” His voice was too high for his excuse to be believable, especially when James considered some of the hairstyles that Richard had previously considered to be a  _ good  _ hair day.

“We’re in your house, Richard. I don’t think anyone’s going to be sneaking pictures of whatever gel-based mess you’ve created today.”

“Fine, but you better not laugh.” Richard pulled off the hat to reveal- well, James wasn’t sure how to describe it, except that it was, well, blue. It was a shade that could probably have passed for black, in the right light, but in Richard’s well-lit living room, it was a startling shade of navy blue.

Somehow, James managed to rein in the urge to laugh.

“I don’t understand, did someone prank you?”

Richard sighed. “No, this is my fault.”

“You dyed your hair blue on purpose?” James was incredulous, why the hell had-

“No! It was supposed to be black! Why would I  _ want  _ my hair to be bright blue?” Richard yelled, pointing at the hair in question.

“Well, it certainly makes you look younger.” It was true, though probably a bit more true than Richard had been going for. James was reasonably certain he’d seen a similar shade on at least of few of the college kids who had stopped him for autographs in the past. Unfairly, it somehow looked even better on Richard than it did on them.

Richard just glared at him, though today he looked even less intimidating than usual. James fought the brief urge to ruffle Richard’s hair.

“Can’t you just get another box of dye and try again? Put brown over it or something?” Admittedly, James didn’t know a lot about hair dye, but if it worked for mixing house paint, then, well…

And the blue definitely had to go, regardless of how it went; it was starting to give James thoughts that he usually was able to tamp down much more easily. The blue was just too, well, cute, on Richard. He looked like an angry pixie, glaring up through his lashes at James.

“The box said not to add any more colour for two weeks.” Richard’s voice was starting to take on an edge of panic. “James, we have filming in three days, what am I supposed to do about this? For one, Jeremy will never let me hear the end of it if he ever finds out.”

“You could wear a wig, maybe? Unless you want to fake being sick for the next two weeks.” A wig likely wouldn’t be very convincing to Jeremy, or anyone else who got up close, but at least it wouldn’t be blue.

Richard signed again. “I suppose I’ll have to. People would try to stop in if I was ‘sick’ that long. Though at least then I’d have an excuse for the hat.” Richard looked alarmingly close to choosing that option, so James added,

“Mind you, if you do that, Jeremy will get to test the car you wanted.” Richard’s face fell a bit at that, causing blue bangs to bob down into his face. 

“What if I pretended to get sick  _ after  _ doing the test drive? I’ll wear my hat to the shoot, go home, and conveniently catch the flu the next day.” Richard was smiling, that bright smile that always made James heart melt a little, and his blue hair had fallen backwards again when he looked up to meet James’ eyes. James could feel himself getting dangerously close to agreeing to this plan, if only because it meant he might get to enjoy this new look for a little while longer- not that Richard needed to know that particular motive.

“Well, it could work, I suppose.” Provided Andy managed to take leave of his senses for the next two weeks, anyway.

“It’s settled then! Test drive on Tuesday, sick on Wednesday, and Jeremy never finds out anything about this.” Richard’s smile had grown even wider somehow, and James found himself nodding along despite being too distracted to even begin to process Richard’s words.

With that, Richard switched the lights off, and moved to sit on the sofa. Patting the spot next to him for James to sit down, Richard switched on the movie- an old one that they had both seen several times- and relaxed against the back of the couch.

With the lights off, Richards hair looked almost normal- barring the odd moment when a particularly bright shot of the film reflected off of it- and James found it much easier to settle into their normal routine once he could no longer see the strange hue of Richard’s hair. The rest of the night passed by in relative ease, and when they said their goodbyes at the door, James managed to keep his gaze firmly below Richard’s hairline.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James goes round to check in on his 'sick' friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has decided it wants to be far longer than I'd originally planned; there will be at least two more chapters after this, possibly three.

****

Against all odds, Richard’s plan had worked; yesterday at the track he’d played the part of someone coming down with something far better than James could have imagined, and this morning he had called Andy to say he had caught the flu.

Now James was once again at Richard’s house, ostensibly checking in on his ‘sick’ friend at Andy’s request. In the interest of appearing appropriately concerned, James had brought soup. Because he knew Richard was lying, James had brought soup that Richard hated.

James knocked on the door, and a moment later Richard opened the door in a robe and the wool hat from before. Richard’s robe was done up loosely enough to flare out slightly as he moved, and James couldn’t help but look at the brief flashes of pale thighs that showed as Richard walked. He wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or disappointed that Richard had on shorts under the robe.

Pushing those thoughts aside, James followed Richard into the house and into the kitchen.

“Let me just grab some clothes,” said Richard, gesturing to the other door. James nodded, and Richard disappeared from the room.

While he was gone, James took the opportunity to set the soup on the table, where it would be impossible to miss, then sat at the table to wait for Richard to return.

James didn’t have to wait long, and sure enough, when Richard walked back into the kitchen, he shot a confused glance at the soup..

“Why did you bring soup?”

“Because that’s what you bring to someone who’s ill, Richard.”

“But I’m not actually sick, James.”

“Which is why that is clam chowder.”

A look of disgust passed over Richard’s face, as James had expected when he purchased a soup known for having both lots of fish, and lots of bits.

“Right…” said Richard, side eyeing the container as if it were liable to pounce at any minute, “Anyway, do you think Andy suspected anything?”

“He seemed convinced, seeing as he sent me here to check on you.”

Richard looked guilty for a second, but it was gone before James could truly be sure.

“So, I think I managed to get rid of some of the blue,” Richard said, pulling his hat off. “I went out and bought some shampoo that Google says is bad for dye, and then I used it about eight times.” Richard gestured to his hair, which James noticed did look a bit duller than before. Unfortunately, it was still clearly blue- about the same blue as the Ford logo- and still unfairly attractive.

“I think it might need a few more goes,” James stood and eyed it carefully, taking in the way just a bit of Richard’s natural brown colour was beginning to show through near the roots, “Unless, of course, you’ve developed a burning desire to dress as the Cookie Monster this Halloween.”

Richard scowled. “I do not look like the Cookie Monster.”

“Perhaps you’d prefer to be Marge Simpson?” James couldn’t help but smile at the face Richard made at the suggestion.

“I hate to break it to you, but I really don’t think you’re in much of a position to be criticizing people’s hair, mate.” Richard stepped forward and lifted a lock of James’ hair, “Not when you’re going around impersonating a poodle.”

Richard dropped his hand down, but didn’t step back from his new position. He was staring up defiantly at James, clearly waiting for a response, but James found that he was a bit lost for words. They were standing close enough that James could feel the heat radiating off of Richard, and Richard had managed to raise more than just James’  _ hair  _ with his hand a moment prior. Suddenly, it all felt too much, and James stepped back quickly, desperate to put more distance between them.

Perhaps a bit too quickly, because Richard look of annoyance changed into one of concern.

“Are you alright? James?”

James didn’t answer, just ran a hand through his hair to smooth it back down as he shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” said Richard, “I shouldn’t have…” He mimed grabbing James hair, which unfortunately also looked like miming grabbing  _ something else _ , and James could feel himself starting to blush.

James took a breath to steady himself, and said, “Just don’t do it again, please.” He wasn’t sure he could handle Richard’s hand in his hair again without giving himself away.

Richard nodded twice in rapid succession, making the blue strands on top of his head sway and bounce. “Right. Fancy a beer?”

James managed a nod, and Richard turned towards the refrigerator. James erection was not helped by the way Richard’s hair almost seemed to glow as the light filtered through it, nor by the way his jeans were stretched over his arse as he bent down to retrieve the bottles. James dug his nails into the palms of his hands, willing his erection to go away. Suddenly, he couldn’t wait for the two weeks to be over so that he could go back to being able to hold a normal conversation with Richard, without risking coming in his pants like a teenager. James had always found Richard rather attractive, but he was usually able to shove away those particular thoughts into a nice secluded box in his mind labelled “don’t touch”, and get on as friends with no issue; however, there was something about the blue hair that was eating away at all of James’ usual considerable self control, and it was not a pleasant experience.

James was broken from his thoughts by Richard handing him a cold bottle, which he took gratefully before sitting down at the table.

James sipped at his beer slowly, enjoying the refreshing carbonation, as well as the pleasant silence that had settled over them as they drank. The beer was relatively decent for once- perhaps Richard had finally acquired some sense of taste- and he commented as much to Richard, who nodded.

“Saw it at the store, felt like trying something new. Felt like that a lot recently, to be honest.” Richard gave him a look that clearly held some significance, though for the life of him James couldn’t figure out what was so important about trying a new brand of beer. Alcohol seemed to be the one thing that Richard  _ wasn’t  _ choosy about.

Richard rolled his bottle between his hands, “I’ve been in that store who knows how many times, and walked right past those boxes without ever really noticing them. And then the other day it was I looked at them properly for the first time, and I couldn’t believe I’d never truly seen them before, and that I’d wasted so much time not trying them.” Richard was staring down at his bottle, and picking at the label. “Have you ever felt like that?”

“I can’t say I’ve ever been quite so troubled by a beer.”

Richard buried his face in his hands and said, “Right. Of course not. Forget I even said anything, please.”

James felt like there was something he wasn’t quite getting from this conversation. “Richard, we’re not talking about beer anymore, are we?”

Richard shook his head without lifting it from his hands. “No, James.”

“Oh. Then what…?” He trailed off, averting his eyes from Richard’s hunched-over form. They landed on the tub of chowder, cold now, and the thought flitted through his mind that perhaps he should have brought something more suitable after all. James stood and walked over to stand beside Richard, and laid a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong, Rich?”

Richard twisted his head around to look up at James, and James noticed that there was a subtle shine in his eyes that threatened to spill over.

“James, I think I’m in love with you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter after this, to wrap up what was actually supposed to be the main plot, i.e. Richard's hair.

James would swear his heart stopped at Richard’s words.

“Richard…” James tugged Richard up from his chair, and ran a gentle hand through blue hair in an attempt to calm the nervous expression on his friend's face. “God, Richard, I…” James could feel himself starting to get choked up, and rather than try to find the proper words to encapsulate everything he felt, he leaned down to press their mouths together in a soft kiss.

Richard stood without breaking the kiss, and wrapped his arms loosely around James shoulders. James laid one hand on the small of Richard’s back to pull him closer, and raised the other to rest on the back of Richard’s neck where his thumb could brush at the ends of Richard’s hair.

Their kiss was gentle, almost hesitant on Richard’s end, but it felt good. It felt  _ right _ , like coming home after spending too long away. James ran his hand through Richard’s hair, stroking lightly at the surprisingly soft strands. Richard hadn’t bothered with product today, and it felt like silk to the touch. Richard moaned softly, and pulled back from the kiss. He stared up at James eyes, pupils blown wide, and said, “Please, James.” Richard’s hand wrapped around James’ wrist, and Richard jerked his head towards the stairs.

“Yes, absolutely, yes.” James’ head was still spinning at the revelation that Richard wanted him as much as he wanted Richard. James would have sworn he was dreaming, except for the fact that none of his fantasies had ever included the faint irritation that Richard’s annoying- yet annoyingly attractive- goatee was starting to cause.

They made surprisingly quick work of the stairs, and soon they were stumbling through Richard’s bedroom door, Richard still holding tight to James wrist as if he were afraid that James might disappear if he didn’t.

Richard shoved aside the covers, and they fell in a pile onto the bed. James quickly shifted himself so that he wasn’t crushing Richard, pushing himself up onto his elbows before straightening up to straddle Richard.

Richard wiggled under him, and James could feel that Richard was just as hard as he was.

“Have you got…” James started, already reaching towards the drawer of the bedside table.

“Fuck! No, I think there might be some condoms in there somewhere, but I don’t have anything else.”

“Fuck,” James repeated, dropping his hand back onto the bed. There were, of course, several options still open to them, but he’d been rather looking forward to having Richard spread out before him, begging for his cock.

Still, Richard was quite the sight even now, laying on his back and looking up at James with clear, undisguised lust on his face. James licked his lips, and said,

“Are you clean? I want to suck you off without a condom.”

Richard nodded vigorously, his hair flying about as he did. “Yes, I’m clean, God, yes, please, James.”

James slid backwards, towards the end of the bed. “Slide up closer to the headboard, there’s not enough room like this.”

Richard was quick to comply, sitting himself against the pillows that were piled against the headboard. James ran an appreciative gaze over him, and ducked down towards the zip of Richard’s jeans.

James flicked the zipper pull up with his tongue, and took it carefully between his teeth. Richard squirmed as James pulled the zipper down, his nose rubbing against Richard’s boxers as he did so. Richard made a soft noise at the sensation, and leant his head back further into the pillows.

James quite liked that noise, he decided, and when the zipper was down he nipped at the top edge of Richard’s boxers, and repeated the action to pull those down as well.

“Oh, God, James,” Richard’s voice was breathy, close to a moan, and the sound went straight to James’ cock. 

“Richard,” he breathed, before leaning in to take the head of Richard’s cock into his mouth.

Richard grasped at the bedsheets, struggling not to thrust his hips. James slid his hands up onto Richard’s hips, holding them in place as he swallowed Richard down.

“James!” James hummed in response to his name, causing Richard to shout out something incomprehensible.

Slowly, James lifted his head of of Richard, letting his tongue run along the underside of Richard’s dick as he did. He teased at the head with his tongue, circling the tip and flicking at the underside of the head with small licks.

James moved one of his hands down from Richard’s hip to stoke lightly over the testes, cupping them gently and rubbing his fingers in a circular pattern. Slowly, he took move of Richard into his mouth once again, this time bobbing his head at a moderate speed, while still keeping a rhythm with his hand.

It wasn’t long before Richard’s hand poked at James shoulder, ineffectual trying to move him back. “James! James! I’m going to come, James-” He cut himself off with a moan as James swallowed him deeper, once again humming his acknowledgement. James kept humming until Richard screamed out his names, and James felt the shot of hot liquid against the back of his throat.

He swallowed it down as quickly as he could, not keen to taste it any longer than he had to, and kept the motion going until Richard was thoroughly spent, laying panting against the headrest.

“God, James, that was…” he trailed off, instead reaching down to pull James up to his position for a thorough kiss. Richard could just barely taste himself in James’ mouth, and he moaned into the kiss. Richard shifted his leg, brushing it against the hardness he could feel in James pants, prompting a moan from the other man.

Richard brushed against it again, before reaching a hand down to unzip James pants, and slide into James boxers. He pushed the boxers down and took James into his hand, jerking his hand in a quick rhythm. James leant into it, still not breaking the kiss, and Richard quickened his pace. He took the opportunity to run his other hand through James’ hair, tugging gently at the ends as he did.

James bucked at the feeling, and Richard tugged harder, matching the rhythm of the hand in James’ hair to the rhythm of the hand on his dick.

“Richard,” James said, barely a whisper before locking his mouth to Richard’s once again.

Richard quickened his pace, and tightened his grip slightly on James. James let out a keening noise, and Richard let his thumb run over James balls before returning to the pattern. He got three more strokes in before James was coming, coating Richard’s hand in his come, as well as splattering the fronts of both of their shirts.

James collapsed down onto Richard, before quickly rolling off onto his side. James paused for a moment, catching his breath, before pulling Richard close against him, and pressing their mouths together in another kiss.

The last thing Richard felt before he fell asleep was James pressing a kiss to his hair, and whispering, “Love you too, Richard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1,200 words of m/m porn written by a lesbian. What could possibly go wrong?
> 
> ...seriously, please tell me if I've written something very wrong so that I can fix it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, I've got a mild concussion, so this may make less sense than usual.

Richard wakes to the shrill sound of a phone vibrating on the wooden nightstand, and reaches out to feel around for it. He answers it without looking at the caller, eyes still screwed shut against the early light creeping in through the window.

“Hello?” he asks, not sure who would be calling at this hour. He keeps his voice to a whisper, not sure if James is awake yet.

“Hammond?” The voice belongs to Jeremy. “Why are you answering Slow’s phone?”

Oh. Richard holds the phone in front of his face, and yeah, that’s definitely James’ phone.

Richard quickly searches for a plausible lie for Jeremy, and presses the phone back to his ear to say, “He left it here yesterday,” which he supposes _is_ technically true, in the right light. He rolls over to look at James, who is still asleep with his face squashed against a pillow.

Of course, James picks that exact moment to wake up, look at Richard, and say, “Is that my phone?” James yawns, stretching his arms above his head, “Who’s calling?”

There’s a moment of complete silence, before Jeremy speaks again, “...Left his phone, has he?”

“Er, yes. And now he’s come back for it.” Richard presses his free hand over his eyes as he speaks, aware that there’s no way that Jeremy’s going to believe a word of that.

James shoots him a confused look, and plucks the phone from his hand. “Hello, this is James.” Richard can’t quite hear what Jeremy says in response, but James continues with, “Because I just woke up, that’s why.” This time Richard can hear Jeremy’s response- a howl of laughter- and he adds his other hand over his eyes and wishes for the bed to swallow him whole.

Eventually the laughter stops, and Richard hears the click of James switching the phone to speaker mode.

“What are you doing taking May to bed, Hammond? You’re sick!”

Richard bristles at Jeremy’s words. “Fine, like you’re one to talk. We know all about-” James moves the phone away from Richard.

“He’s talking about your  _ flu _ , Richard.”

Richard’s face heats. “Oh. Right.” He leans closer to where James has laid the phone. “Sorry, Jeremy.”

Jeremy doesn’t acknowledge it, instead saying, “You know, Hammond. You don’t sound very sick. Definitely not as sick as you told Andy you were.”

“James cured me. With soup.”

Jeremy pauses for a long moment. “If that’s a metaphor for something, I don’t want to know what. I’m hanging up now. See you at the track on Monday.” The call clicks off, and James sets the phone back onto the table.

“Well, that could have gone worse,” says Richard.

James levels a look at him, and says, “Except now you don’t have an excuse to hide out here for the next week or so, and your hair is still blue.”

Richard pales, a hand flying up to brush through the dark strands. “Shit. I didn’t think of that. It hasn’t even been a week yet, I can’t fix it for at least two!”

James reaches out to touch Richard’s hair, twirling it between his fingers. “Are you sure it will really be that much of a problem? Isn’t bleach the thing that’s dangerous?”

“I… I don’t know, I didn’t check into it beyond what the box said.” Richard grabs his phone from the bedside table, and types in his search. He scrolls for a moment, leaning in slightly to James’ touch, and reads through the variety of answers.

When he’s finished the first page of results, he lowers the phone, and says, “It looks like it might be alright, as long as there’s not any ammonia in the dye.” He’s still a bit concerned that it  _ won’t  _ be alright, but there’s no way he’s going to appear on television with blue hair.

“I can run out and get some dye, then, and we can have your hair fixed by noon.” James gives Richard’s hair a wistful look as he speaks, then pauses before adding, “Unless, of course, you’ve decided you want to keep this new look.”

Richard scowls. “No. No chance. Why the hell would I want to do that?”

“Well, it is rather fetching,” James says, causing Richard to glare at him.

“It’s  _ blue _ , James. I am not getting within 50 miles of a camera with this hair.”

James leans in to kiss him quickly, and says, “Alright. I’ll fetch the dye after breakfast, then.”

Richard returns the kiss. “Thank you,” he says, when the break apart.

………………………………………………………………….

The dye James comes back with is a different brand than Richard had bought for himself before, which Richard is glad of. If he had brought back the same brand, who knows what colour it would have decided his hair should be today. He’s not sure he could stand it if he ended up with, say, purple hair.

James offers to apply the dye, and Richard says yes, not wanting to look at the blue any more than he has to.

“Sit on the edge of the tub,” James says, pointing at the spot he means, “This will be easier if I can see you from above.” James is holding the bottle of dye in his hand, already mixed together with far more attention paid to the instructions than Richard had managed.

Richard does as directed, and soon enough James is working the liquid through his hair. It feels nice- well, James fingers feel nice, anyway; the dye itself is cold and a bit sticky, and it stings a little where it touches bare skin.

Eventually James pulls back, and takes off one of his gloves to start a timer on Richard’s phone.

“That has to sit for 20 minutes before you can rinse it out. I’m going to take the leftover dye out to the garbage before it can stain anything.”

Richard nods, and James leaves, dye in hand.

He passes the time on his phone, careful not to bend his head too much as he looks at it, and soon enough the time is up.

He sets the phone on the edge of the sink, and climbs the rest of the way into the tub to rinse out the dye from his hair.

……………………………………………

When Richard emerges from the bathroom, damp hair wrapped in a towel, he finds James in the kitchen, adding cream to two cups of tea. He looks up when Richard enters.

“Did it work,” James asks, handing one of the mugs to Richard.

Richard carefully lets down the towel, showing his newly-fixed hair to James, who smiles brightly at the sight.

“Wonderful,” he says, stepping towards Richard to run and hand through it. “Not that I didn’t like the blue, mind you, but I’m glad it’s back to what you wanted.”

Richard laughs, and snake an arm around James waist. “Maybe I’ll have to find a blue wig, since you seem to like it so much.” It’s meant as a joke, but the expression on James’s face has Richard mentally composing a list of costumes shops nearby. He pulls James down into a kiss, smiling as he does.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, any and all feedback is appreciated, positive or negative.


End file.
